6 pounds, 14 ounces and 20 inches
"I loved you the minute I heard your heartbeat. I loved you the minute you were born. Then I saw your face and fell in love some more. You were only a minute old but I knew I would die for you and to this day I still would. When you choose to have a child, you make a conscious decision to allow your heart to walk around outside of your body".
Emily is here!!! She was born 4 days after her due date. We were very anxious for her arrival. It's quite comical the things we tried to induce labor naturally--all the wives tales (minus castor oil or anything that wouldn't be safe for the baby), suggestions from our doula, etc. Matt even spent 2.5 hours making this eggplant parm recipe from this restaurant in Atlanta that supposedly is known for inducing labor within 24-48 hours after eating it. They have a whole page dedicated to the babies on their website. Needless to say nothing worked with Ashley or with Emily, so they are all just wives tales.
Our doctors office doesn't like for you to go past 41 weeks, so at my last doctors visit we picked a date to get induced. We could wait it out 3 more days to see if she came on her own, or we could opt to be induced. We opted to be induced for 2 reasons--first, Matt's parents had to leave, and we really wanted them to be able to at least meet Emily before they had to go back (they already extended their stay a couple days to be able to); and secondly, I had been having contractions for like 3-4 nights in a row, but nothing steady enough to go to the hospital yet, then they'd taper off. The whole "is this it? Is tonight the real thing?" is challenging when we had to make arrangements for Ashley. It gave us peace of mind knowing that Ashley was with her grandparents, in her own bed, home, and routine.
So doctor Alt was nice enough to let us be admitted to the hospital the night of our doctor visit (Tues 11/27). We didn't have to be in until the evening, so before we went we had one last special family time and we went back to the Roper Mountain light show where we saw Santa, roasted smores, and took one more drive around to see the lights. Talk about a fun/memorable time as a family. We took separate cars and headed to the hospital from there.
That night they gave me cervadil to soften my cervix more. It caused me to have contractions all night long (although it's not considered real labor until they give you pitosin). I finally needed to get a mild pain med to help me sleep otherwise I wasn't going to be able to with the contractions. At 6 a.m. they gave me pitosin, and it was very quick from there....Emily was here by 11:02 a.m.
It went very well. Dr. Alt, my regular (and fav) doctor was the doctor on duty that morning. I love her, and she was also the doctor who performed my surgery for me a few years back to remove the dermoid cyst and clean up my endometreosis. Other than God and Matt, I credit her for me even being able to have children.
She came in and broke my water (with Ashley I opted not to have it broken since my body had not progressed as quickly and once it's broken things need to move along quickly otherwise you may end up needing a c-section). But with Emily I was already dilated between a 3-4. Once she broke my water things really progressed quickly. I was about a 6-7 shortly after, and was begging for an epidural. Lol. It was fast, intense, and that pitosin is nasty stuff and almost impossible (at least for me) to deliver naturally. The epidural barely had time to fully kick in when I felt pressure and knew Emily was close. They checked, and sure enough the nurse said "don't laugh, don't cough until we get Dr. Alt in here". Haha. And at 11:02 a.m. Emily made her appearance.
It was love at first sight. I cried when I saw her. She was so beautiful and so perfect. I had requested that I get extra time to have skin to skin contact and time to bond before they whisked her away to start the tests. I'll never forget the special bond as she and I gazed into each others eyes for those moments.
The last week has been a whirlwind. First, Emily has been such a good baby!!! She is soooo sweet, and barely ever cries unless she is hungry. She is also quite the overachiever...the first day they only want/expect 1 wet and 1 dirty diaper, and she had like 6 stinky diapers. Haha.
One thing I knew was normal but that I didn't have the first time around was hormonal stuff. With Ashley I remember being flooded with emotions and being weepy the 2nd-3rd day in, but it was crying about Matt being such a good dad, and being overwhelmed with intense love for my baby. This time around I still felt that incredible intense love for Emily right from the start, but I also experienced real panic. I felt trapped and alone down here, and was wanting my mommy or Matt's mommy. Lol. I just felt like "oh crap, I am outnumbered when I'm by myself with two girls. What if one gets sick or hurt? What will I do?" And I felt like we were on our own, which is so not true since we have wonderful friends and neighbors (who have already come through for us multiple times with meals and visits). Then my emotions were running away with me, worrying because Matt and I make such a great team, and with just one we still had the upper hand, but now we're "man on man defense" and both working hard and tired/stressed. All of these worse case scenarios and irrational fears were intensified during this time.
I can giggle about these fears now because I am already feeling better, but it felt very real and terrifying in the moment. As a counselor I know what to do/not do, so I didn't hold back...I reached out for help and support, accepted help when offered from people, etc.
My mom was great too. Unfortunately (or fortunately) she caught me in the midst of these breakdowns. She said she could come down immediately, but she'd only be able to stay about 4 days, or she could wait and come down at Christmas and be able to stay longer for like 10 days. I wanted her to be able to stay longer, but at the same time was scared and overwhelmed to do it on my own. So she offered to help financially so we could get a part time sitter to help break me in for the first week or two. Once she suggested that it was like a huge weight had been lifted and I immediately felt better. And it has been a perfect solution for me!
The timing was wonderful too. With it being hockey season, Matt and I had met this really nice couple (the husband is one of the hockey players). His wife is really nice, has unlimited free time since she doesn't work, and has had lots of experience nannying. So she has been coming in the mornings to help out so I can get a little extra sleep since I'm up in the middle of the night, help with the girls, take Ashley a couple of places, and help with some light housework. Then I have the afternoons/early evenings alone with the girls until Matt gets home. It's worked out GREAT having some help while still having time by myself in order to build up my confidence level in order to permanently do it on my own in the near future. It also has given me some more one-on-one time with each of the girls, which is sacred to me and hard to find when juggling two little ones on your own, so that has been such a blessing.
Ashley has been adjusting ok....It's been rough because she has her 2 year old molars coming in, she's been fighting a bad cold, and she is adjusting to a new baby all at once. So needless to say it's been a little hard on her. Plus she had lots of extra attention, love and fun while grand mom and grandpop were here. So she went from one extreme to the other, with mommy being away in the hospital to not being able to give her all her undivided attention anymore like I used to. But Matt has been absolutely amazing with her. I already thought he was such a great dad to begin with, but he just continues to amaze me and has been sooo great. He was stressed and going through adjustment changes as well, yet he put 100% into giving Ashley lots of extra attention and doing lots of fun things with her, and helping with the baby and I. I have also made a point to try to spend some one one one time with her when I can, doing fun activities on a daily basis. We are doing all the "right things" that books and doctors recommend, and are already seeing her make progress.
