Friday, June 22, 2018

The Let Go

I just have a few minutes before I need to go to the girls LAST DAY of school parties, but I wanted to take a minute to reflect.

So, today marks the end of an era. It is the final day of preschool EVER for us. We had Emily's graduation ceremony on Wednesday night. All these moms had said how they would be balling. I didn't cry. I sat there with a big, happy, proud smile on my face because I felt happy and proud.

Today however, I cried leaving Emily's preschool. Emily has the cutest morning routine. We go in, and every morning we stop to give hugs to Emily's teachers from last year. Then we go up to her buddy Anthony's class, and he runs and gives her a hug. Half the time no words are even exchanged, just a big embrace. As the school year went on, half of the class would also give her hugs.

So today, giving our last hugs just tugged at my heart strings. First we stopped at Mrs. Pfeiffer  and Mrs. Apicella's class. Mrs. Apicella holds a very special place in my heart. Despite living in NJ, she is one of the kindest people I have ever met. She is very thoughtful and truly loves the kids. She always remembers and asks about specific details with each child. I even hugged them today and told them how much we would miss them.

Then we gave our last hugs to Anthony's classroom, although thankfully Anthony will be at Manito with Emily next year.
Then we went to Emily's class. Like I said, I didn't cry at graduation. But I was telling her teacher, Mrs. Walsh, that I did cry the next day when I opened up her backpack and read a special note she had written to Emily. It said "Dear Emily--Wow! I can't believe the year is over. You have grown so much. Just be your joyful self next year and you will be great. You were so helpful to so many friends in our class. Thank you for making them feel happy. I'm sending you home with a special book. I think you are very much like Princess Elizabeth in the story. Stay that way! Share this book with your mom and sister. Keep it safe in case you need a reminder of Girl Power! Enjoy your summer. Love, Mrs. Walsh." It was taped to a book called the Paper Bag Princess, which was a story about a typical beautiful princess whose fiancé prince was captured by a dragon. The dragon had burned everything they owned, so she had to wear a paper bag. She tracked down the dragon, outsmarted him with her wits, then freed the prince. He didn't like that she was tarnished and wearing a paper bag, so she ditched him. They didn't get married. But SHE lived happily every after". I loved it. And it is so fitting.
So, sharing how much that meant to me, then her teachers saying how much they loved her was the tipping point. By the time I was saying goodbye to the owners, I was crying. LOL.

It was sweet and emotional with Ashley, but when it's your oldest, it's like they are big kids, and this is the next step. But when it's the baby, whose no longer a baby, and this is the last time, and the last goodbye....oh my.

Even Ashley had a moment recently where it made me realize I am bracing for the big "let go" someday. We live in really close distance to the elementary school. You walk to the end of the block (where there is a sweet old man for the crossing guard), walk another half a block (where another crossing guard is), and you're at their school. Technically, Ashley would probably be fine walking herself to school by next year with her maturity and the safety of the area. However, I will probably wait until later since I don't feel comfortable letting a kindergartener walk alone. But, I did say that I would walk further behind so that Ashley can practice walking on her own and feel comfortable for when she does it. So, we did that. We got to the corner at the top of her school, and she was like "I'm fine walking myself for the rest". So I let her go. And as I watched her walk herself down, I had that realization that this was the beginning of letting her go. She's growing up. Another choke up moment. But happy of course. You want your kids to grow up and be independent and confident of course. But the let go sure is bitter sweet.

Anyway, I am off to go attend their last day of school parties. I am so thankful that I have the kind of part time job that allows me to be at their special events. And thankful for my husband who works hard so that I can as well.

Sweet moments, sweet memories....


















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