The Delayed Verdict

I wanted to update on our visit to Florida, and the decision Matt and I made....

Matt and I went down to visit Florida and saw the new office location and area. Although I love Florida, this location is not for us. Amelia Island was beautiful and everything my friend Jen said it was, however it did still seem more like a touristy beach vacation place vs. a real place to live. And although some people are starting to move there year round, it appeared to be mostly very wealthy (and probably retired) people living there. There also wasn't a whole lot going on directly outside of that area.
The other area that was within close proximity of the office and had better school ratings was very rural. They are working on growing, putting in new restaurants and stores, and I'm sure in another 10-20 years from now it will be a great place to live. But in the meantime, it's very rural with lots of run down trailers and/or low income housing, with pockets of these beautiful developments with picturesque homes and neighborhoods throughout. The schools, although rated well, were actually kind of scary looking with barbed wire all around them. Matt and I both agreed that this was not a place we'd want to uproot our lives to move to.
We did find a really nice area, Julington Creek/Ponte Vedra area which was on the Southside of Jacksonville. This was perfect--beautiful, picturesque neighborhoods with nice "happy medium" lifestyle--not super rich like our current surrounding towns, but also not the other extreme like the other area of Florida either. Much more established neighborhoods, safe/nice looking schools that are actually top rated for the entire state, and is even following the curriculum that they follow here. It looks like a town that I could totally see us enjoying. However, this area is about 50 minutes away from the new office location (without traffic) which isn't ideal, and even if Matt were to commute, I don't see him being happy with the mixed clientele he would be working with. I don't think it would work if he wasn't happy in his job setting. Another really big drawback is that this area is an additional half hour from Jen and Jim, which is a big draw back for me. They hoped to get a vacation place in Amelia Island, which would mean we would be seeing them frequently in that area. Here, although they do visit often as well, is not an area they plan to frequent as much. Half the point was to see them and have them in our lives regularly. Also, even though it's only an extra half hour, they are also our "safety net"/comfort in case of emergencies, and an hour and a half just feels a lot further and makes me more nervous being all alone down there.

So, although there is rumor of something opening in that area as well, we told the bosses no thank you to the new office location, didn't push on the other area, and told them we're going to stick it out in NJ for another year or two. Then, as they continue to grow and expand throughout the state of Florida, we can revisit the idea in another year or two. In the meantime, our plan is to stay here and keep tackling some of our challenges we are currently facing.

First, come the fall, once Ashley is in Kindergarten and Emily is back to preschool, I plan to pick up another full day at work, or find something part time elsewhere so Matt doesn't have to work as much. As upsetting as this idea is to me, and not the "plan" we had had, this way is currently not working for any of us. Matt is working like a dog at work, I'm working like a dog at home and working pt. He really misses us, and we really miss him. Hopefully this plan will balance things out a little more, while still tackling the financial hardship we are in.

Although I'm still not particularly fond of this area as a whole, in the last few months I have been establishing more friendships and have met several nice people in that church group. So that has given me a lot of hope about making it work here. The counselor also reassured me that my kids will tend to gravitate toward the types of people we surround them with and promote throughout these early years, so I don't have to worry too much about the hard/bad influences.

Also, I know I've complained a lot about how much I hate the cold. Our plan is to take a trip someplace warm during the winter to get a break from the awful weather, as well as visit Greenville more often than we have and see if these things help in the next winter or two. However, if I continue to go through depression for months and months at a time despite these efforts, we will be moving at the end of that time. It is not good for me, my marriage, or my children to have a miserable and depressed person for 6 months out of the year.

So, we are going to give it our best shot to work on things here since we do love having our family around and in our lives on a regular basis. We will see how things go, then revisit the possibility of moving down south in a couple years. IF we did end up moving down south at that time, we'd now be 2 years closer to retirement for grandparents (mom may even be retired by then), we will be more caught up financially (and have more equity on our home for reselling purposes). Just a better time overall.

Matt and I are both completely on the same page about everything, and I do feel 100% ok with this decision. As I mentioned in a previous post, the possibility of moving made me see things through the eyes of potential loss and has given me a deeper appreciate for some of the good things/people here, I'm more hopeful with newfound friendships, and I have an "I can always change my mind later" in the back of my head if I need to. In the meantime, we will take things one day at a time, enjoy the good things here, leave it up to God and see what happens....