Several moms (with girls) have said that 3 is more challenging than 2. So far I have found that to be true. It has some AWESOME qualities such as lots of laughter, lots of fun imagination, learning and exploring. Things that I am truly treasuring. However, it also comes with lots of power struggles, fighting about ANYTHING (I can say the sky is blue and Ashley will say it's not), challenging rules and pushing boundaries, etc. Some days it seriously feels like I am living with a teenage already. I know it's all part of the normal developmental process, but it's hard sometimes. There are days when I wake up feeling like Mary Poppins, and by the end of the night I feel like Cruella Deville (another reference a mom made that I sooo related to). I start off every day happy and ready to tackle the day, but come dinner time I am just on my last thread of patience sometimes. And I hate that. There are days when I feel like I am failing and not handling things the way I feel or know I should. But, as the last post said, I am trying. I am not giving up. I keep learning and trying new things, and being the best mom that I can.
And Ashley, when you do read this someday, just know that even though we have had our moments, I always have and always will love you ;)
On a good note with Ashley, she has started preschool! We are starting part time, 2 half days a week. That is another area that I feel she is needing more than I can give her at the moment. I have always considered it my job to be the teacher since I am home with the girls, but now Emily is so mobile and all around and into things, that I can't sit and teach as much as I would like. We still do projects and learning, but I feel like I'm always picking up after this, or running after Emily, or having to focus on behavior corrections and demands with Ashley. I feel like Ashley is on a good track and pretty bright for her age, so I want her to be engaged. It will also be a help for her to have more social interaction and friendships, as well as reinforcing behaviors and following rules with the structured environment.
She has loved it so far, and wants to keep going back.
It's also nice because it gives us a chance to have some one on one time with Emily which is rare. I had Ashley in "school" 1 half day a week in SC in order to have some quality time with Emily, although she was young so she slept half the time or I'd be running errands that were difficult to do with 2 little ones. So we are loving it. On Tuesdays Matt is home in the mornings so she gets quality time with both of us, and Fridays just me. She's really been loving it too because she gets all the attention which she LOVES, and it also gives her a chance to play with the toys that Ashley is usually always trying to take away, and also gives me time to help teach her some things for her developmental stages that I don't always get to do because Ashley is on a more advanced level. So it's been good for everyone.
So our days are pretty busy. On Mondays we have library class, Tues and Fri Ashley has 1/2 day of school, Wednesdays I work (only have one client at the moment but use some time to market), Tues and Thurs Matt is home in mornings so we try to alternate doing something fun with errands/things we need to take care of.
I am also trying to get involved in some more playdates. Most of them conflict with our nap schedule, but pretty soon Emily should be weening down to only one nap which will open up the schedule some more. We've had a couple here at the house, and I've gone to a couple mom's night out meet ups too. I left one feeling very discouraged. I am pretty friendly and outgoing, and have never had a hard time making friends. Right now we are in a season (which will change in a few more months) where Emily is walking and into everything and needs to be watched closely when out at places, and Ashley is pretty independent but I still need to overlook a little to make sure she is playing nice with others/ occasionally correcting behaviors. So it's challenging to try to chat with moms and have any kind of adult conversation when I'm running here or stopping to correct behaviors. So when we were having a mom's meet up I was thrilled. I figured it'd be a good way to sit and talk and make friends, no problem. WRONG. There was a large group (too large to get to really know anyone), and the women there were either the stereotype Jersey Shore with their "hard" personalities and/or snobby desperate housewives kind of people. They were talking about some of the most superficial things ever. I left there so discouraged that I was in tears. I was just so let down, and made me really question the kinds of people here.
But, I am determined and was not giving up. So, I set up another meet up. There were only two moms that showed, but that was much better to talk and get to know each other. The one mom and I hit it off, so hope to hang out again soon. We also started the new library class a few days later and there are some really nice moms there (including my friend Rachel), so I felt much better and hopeful. Just a slower process than I thought. I'm sure I'll also get to meet new moms through Ashley's class and also through church where I will be around people with similar lifestyles and values.
Other than that life is busy and filled with fun. I know some of this blog post sounds discouraged, but there are also lots of fun and joyous times as well. There are some bumps, but life is good. Matt and I have been able to enjoy more frequent date nights (thanks to Lisa and Bruce being gracious enough to babysit for us), we've had fun family times--trips to bounce house, trip to Poconos to do some snow shoeing, sledding and all that "fun" snowy stuff (lord knows we've had a lot of it). We also went up to NY for Alyssa's 1st birthday last weekend. I can't believe she is 1 already! It was great to be there to celebrate, and also nice to see some of my family.
Emily is really cruising around these days. It's amazing how quickly she picked up on it. She is also learning to eat with a spoon and spork (half spoon, half fork). She looks like she has grown so much recently (as does Ashley).
Both girls are such a blessing and so fun to watch them grow up before our eyes....
She was so excited
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