April 2015

Just an update on where the girls are at right now....

Ashley: TYLER!!! Tyler Livesey is a big focus of Ashley's right now. He is not only our neighbor and Ashley's "best buddy", but he is the boy that she plans to marry someday. She is hysterical. During dinner I usually ask the girls what the best part of their day is, and almost always her answer is "playing with Tyler", even on the days we don't see him. Haha. We passed a bridal store, and she points to the wedding gown in the window and says she wants to get that for when she and Tyler gets married. She informed me the other day that she and Tyler were going to get a cat for a pet, since she likes cats but can't have them since Daddy is allergic. The stories and plans she tells me is so cute and hysterical. The funny thing is, she talks all this talk, but they have the strangest relationship. We play pretty often (especially now with the weather warming up and a lot more outdoor play), and sometimes they play so nicely, other times they bicker or "play shy" not wanting to talk (mostly Ashley doing this sort of thing). If they do end up marrying someday, Tyler is in for it! Lol. But all in all they really are the best of buddies. It's so cute. And he is definitely one of the most adorable, sweetest little boys I know, so I approve. :)

Ashley's pink blanket has been another issue at the moment. She's still having some minor issues with speech, so we met with the speech therapist again to get more tools and ideas to focus on her R's and L's (her S words are no longer an issue, they've improved with our practice). Aside from her rushing personality, she also has a little jaw instability going on. We realized that although it didn't cause it, her sucking on her blanket is contributing to this. The speech therapist recommended taking it away at the end of the school year.
I know this sounds cheesy, but this was one of the first "hard" decisions I've had to make for her. Ashley absolutely LOVES her pink blanket. She doesn't overdo it, but she likes her blanket at bedtime, when she watches TV, or when she's upset. It is definitely her "security" blanket. The thought of taking that away makes me very uneasy, and I was really concerned about this emotionally "scarring her"--kind of joking, kind of serious. I don't remember a lot from my childhood, but I DO remember when my sister Kristyn's "pillow pillow" got "lost". She was sooo upset. My mom had kept it all these years, and a few years ago she wrapped it up and gave it to her for a Christmas present. Even as a grown adult, Kristyn went from being thrilled to being angry, saying "you had this the whole time????".
I personally don't think there's anything wrong with having a security object. In fact, when I googled "when/how/ways to take away the security blanket", everything I read said not to. It said it's a transitional object that helps them to feel safe and secure as they navigate through scary things in the world, and they'll outgrow on their own. So I was torn. I clearly care about her speech issue and want to help correct this issue, but I also care about her emotional well being.
I reached out to other speech therapists/parents/friends and asked for feedback and suggestions on less traumatic ways to take it away if need be. There were several different answers and ideas...many gave feedback saying not to take away, a few said just do it. Others gave helpful ideas such as having a blanket fairy come and pick up and give to another child who needs a blanket, turning her blanket into a dress for a doll, cutting a small piece for her to keep and keep in her pocket, etc.
After taking their suggestions into consideration, and using my own intuition, I don't think I'm taking the blanket away. I don't feel right about it. We are doing a "weening process" of trying not to suck on it during the day, and just at night. Then slowly start using a timer at night so that we eventually are down to no minutes left of sucking...we also added it to her sticker chart for behaviors, and when she fills it out, she'd like a rainbow tutu for her prize. So we're trying. It's a hard habit to kick, and I'm also trying to be empathetic and not create power struggles or secretive behaviors. (Also hoping she's not going to turn into a dirty smoker someday with her oral issues...haha). So anyway, will keep you posted.
Ashley is also doing great with her letters. At school the teacher has her trace her name and letters (I do some at home as well with her, along with practicing her cutting). At the beginning of the school year it was pretty shaky, but now it's practically perfect. I joke and say her writing is already better than daddy and I. Sad part is I'm only half joking, ours is pretty bad.

On a slightly negative note, we did kind of backslide with some of our behaviors. For a while Ashley had gone through a very argumentative stage, where almost everything was a fight. After reading several books and trying different approaches combined with school, routine, etc, it had improved almost completely and she was very pleasant. Well I'm telling you, it's night and day when we have routine and structure and when we don't. We had spring break a couple weeks ago--she was off of school, her gymnastics class ended, and we had company visiting (2 different ones in one week, none which had any kids to play with). So our regular routine was off, and I could tell. She also admitted that she didn't like that I was visiting with our friends and not paying total attention to her. It was a challenging one with the argumentative behaviors. Couple that with Emily's mischievous phase, and it was a little bit of a doozy. But my one friend remarked a couple times on how I was so calm, yet clear with my boundaries. I was glad to hear that, because I sure didn't feel calm on the inside.
I've also picked up on a little bit of perfectionism coming out with Ashley. She is so bright, and she's great at so many things, but when she's not, she can be hard on herself or not even want to try. I was the same when when I was a kid, and I hate that for her because I don't want her missing out on the fun just because she may not be the best. Matt and I are always so good to not focus on the results, but on her hard work and effort. We always push the messages that it's not about being the best, just trying your best...and depending on the issue, just focusing on the fun. I've luckily outgrown that, and push myself to do things even if I'm not good. I'm hoping she will too. She's such a confident, outgoing and happy kid in so many ways. I want her to always embrace that and live life to it's fullest.

On a cute note, I had to mention Ashley's skirt phase. She is finally starting to want to wear jeans again, but she went through a phase where all she wanted to wear were leggings, and she had to wear her sparkly silver skirt with just about EVERY outfit she wore...then her tutu with her pajamas. It was so cute. She's also pretty good at matching her outfits with her highbrows and stuff. I think the girl is going to be more stylish than me.

Anyway, she is loving life, having fun, learning and growing every day.

Now for Emily.....
She's growing so much too, it's crazy.
She can count, she can sing the ABC's (with a little assistance), she's great with puzzles, she talks in full sentences--some are a little backward at times, but does great overall.

She continues to be a sweetie...she's very affectionate, loves to give kisses and hugs, loves to snuggle, wants me to hold her ALL THE TIME sometimes, she says the cutest "I luh (love) you"s ever, etc. She is very sweet and kind to Ashley (most of the time)--even with the new minivan (not sure if I even mentioned that in a post), they still stretch as far as they can to hold hands, they hug and kiss each other, they look out for one another, etc. It's sweet.
That same little sweetie is also going through quite the mischievous stage though. I tell you, some days I don't know who gives me more of a run for my money. Ashley with the arguing, and Emily with straight up mischief sometimes. I recently watched a parenting/disciplining video and they said kids usually act out for two reasons: power (which is Ashley), and attention seeking (which is Emily). I give my kids A LOT of attention, and constantly do activities and am engaged with them. In a technology focused world, I make an effort to not be on my phone or computer a ton in front of them, I don't do TV or phone during meals, etc. Yet despite all that, it's still not enough for Emily sometimes. There are times where she just seems to need a little more attention and reassurance and "hold me pleases". So negative attention is still attention unfortunately. I try and I try and I try some days. I do my best to be consistent, to stay calm and collected, etc. I am far from perfect, but I would get an A for effort and best intentions.
Along with that, Emily is quite the dare devil. She's got a lot of her Aunt Kristyn in her in that sense (who has gone sky diving, rock climbing/jumping, etc). Emily loves to climb rocks and jump off, loves trying to climb tables and jump, etc. I get the "you're going to have fun with her as a teenager" comments when they see her daredevil acts. Not a good combo with a hypervigalent, cautious mother. Lol.

Emily is also doing pretty good with the potty training. Im not pushing too hard, but I ask her throughout the day if she wants to use the potty, and she ends up peeing at least once a day usually. We are actually finishing up the last pack of diapers, then moving on to pull ups or "underpants" since they're easier for potty use. Sniff sniff...the last "baby" thing--no more crib, no more diapers. Kinda sad, but also kind of awesome at the same time.

She also loves to help with things a lot now. I've been trying to involve her a lot more in tasks now that she's older. For the longest time she was the "baby", but she really wants to be a big girl in every way.

Emily is still quite the dog lover. She's always enjoyed pets, especially dogs. She must get that from her dad's side of the family. Haha.

Well, I can barely keep my eyes open, and Emily will be waking me up before I know it (she's my night owl AND my early bird. Glad I got to catch up on things. Will update with pics soon.