Quick Florida Update

So....I don't have a lot of time, but wanted to throw out a quick update.

Matt and I leave to go to Florida for the weekend to check out the area in order to help us make a decision about whether to stay or leave. Matt was told the official site of the new office, so now we know the exact location and can narrow down potential areas and search. We are meeting with someone who works for his company (and lives down there), and she will take us around certain areas. Then we get to visit with Jen and Jim again (yay!!!) and they will show us around as well.

I'm excited and also nervous. Part of me feels like it'll just further complicate things because I KNOW that look wise and weather wise it'll totally be up my alley. But part of me feels conflicted about leaving still.

At first everything was happening so fast like a whirlwind, then we've had a good month of nothing to really think about the pros and cons. There is a part of me that wants to get the heck out of here. I hate hate hate the weather as you know. I'm not a huge fan of the people here as a whole, their mentality or their values. However, I have met some more nice people over the last couple of months, and am developing nice friendships in addition to a couple really nice ones I've developed. So that has really given me hope about if we stayed here. The thought of leaving has had me/us see things through the eyes of loss, and what we'd be leaving behind. There are people I'd really miss, both for myself, Matt, and our girls.
Part of me is still really sad about the idea of leaving our families. Cousin Robby was born, so now there's another cousin to leave. Matt's mom has also made it clear that she has no intention of living down in Florida, even part time. This really was upsetting to hear because they'd be a great loss to us and the girls. I didn't expect them to move--they've had their lives up here. They have their other son, grandchildren, family and friends. I would never ask them to leave all of that behind. But I did really hope that they'd be open to at least coming down for a few months throughout the year once they retire.
Spring is finally here, things are blooming, flowering and looking alive again, which makes me enjoy it here. For instance, my backyard is a love-hate thing. I HATE the winter here, however I LOVE our backyard in the spring and summer--it's absolutely beautiful and so peaceful to sit out there when it's warm enough.

So, needless to say, Matt and I are both conflicted. The thing is, the weather is never going to change. I probably will never adjust to the months of cold, dark, dreary months and months. I've tried everything I could to curb the depressed feelings I've had to no avail. But again, now that I've been making additional friendships, maybe that will help alleviate the negatives? Not sure...
I have made nice friends with more budding. However, I still worry that even if we surround ourselves and kids with nice, kind people, we are still going to be exposed to the larger population of negative, harder, cynical and materialistic people in the area and school. And even if I surround us with that, there will come a day when my influence will become less and less, and the girls peers will become more and more. And that still worries me.
The financial issue and stress is getting worked out. Next year Ashley will be in Kindergarten which will cut the preschool cost in half. We're on track to get out of some debts, so Matt will be able to cut back on extra work. Once girls are both in school I'll bring in more income too...so if we hang on that will get better too...but it's still the "in between time" of hanging on that's long and hard and taxing on both the girls and on us.

But...we have family. We have more time together than we would. It's a tough decision....I'm sad and scared to leave, but I'm also sad and scared not to.....

Hopefully the Florida trip will help bring us some clarity. Will keep you posted on our decision.